#( she said sorry the old taylor cant come to the phone right now why cause shes DEAD )

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIES

["Trust me, Lib," I said, picturing her lips. "In a crowd of million ski masks, I'd still be able to find you."]

| ✮ 3 stars |

ᝰ.ᐟ ⊹ arc review thank you to netgalley + simon and schuster for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [minor spoilers]

ok. i put this review off for a couple days cause i knew this was gonna be harder to write because i love lynn painter books, really. buuttt i was horribly disappointed with this one. i'm the biggest wesliz fan but... like yeah i cant even form coherent thoughts about it. like this was unnecessary there was no point in shattering their relationship to write this.

like it was good to see wes's pov and everything but it felt so... idk yeah. (see im still struggling so bad to find words.)

one thing i would formally like to invite lynn to STOP doing though is shoving every taylor/ pop culture reference on the planet into the book. like holy shit woman. i few is okay BUT NOT THAT MANY COME ON!!!! they were in the middle of a fucking argument and wes is quoting illicit affairs or some bullshit. usually i love finding little references on page but this felt like too much.

i feel like she's whipped out her computer and gone straight to some dog fanpage or just plainly scrolled through edits seeing people saying "this song is so wesliz coded" and shoved those songs into the book. there is an on page reference to in between reference saying its their montage song.

also um this shit: ”little liz can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh. because she’s dead.” and somehow when jack antonoff was randomly brought up??? like some people are good at weaving taylor swift lyrics into books. lynn you are not.

also lynn take this a plea to never use the word "growl" or "growled" in a sentence ever again when describing your male characters. and to never write this sentence “she’s one of the guys you know? she’s just… different,” EVER AGAIN. PLEASE.

WHAT I DID LIKE THO WAS THE TINY TINY CRUMBS OF BAILEYCHARLIE AND NICKEMELIE (even tho nick was only mentioned and i dont think emelie was even there but eh)

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

liz - ok so weirdly enough she was the most tolerable and still intolerable at the same time. like she was so different from the liz in bttm the sunshiney, wearing dresses of all different colours and her love of romcoms. she was described as anti-love and was practically a full on different character seriously. if you liked the first book maybe dont have high expectations for nltm. like i do understand she had her heart broken and so obviously that makes sense for some of the change but it had been two years and as liz likes to say SO FUCKING MUCH "she's moved on, she's moved past it, its in the past" well for someone who's moved on you sure like to avoid the past a lot. also idk who tf she was trying to fool with that whole "i don't like wes, im over him." shit like gurl- you were literally kissing 2.5 seconds ago whats with the switching sides. and there was SO much about her leaving "little liz" behind. like what was so wrong with liking flowers and romcoms? and being a hopeless romantic and wearing bright colours?

wes - okay so it was quiet heartbreaking to hear abt wes's side of this book (except for the whole pursuing liz part) and i did feel sorry for him. but like what happened to the sweet, caring wes in the first book. and tell me why i had to read THIS sentence “climb on me like a good girl,” LIKE MY EYES LYNN WTF????? i did not sign up for this wes, like no stop telling me how obsessed you are with liz's lips or how she's a mythological sex goddess- boy sit ur ass down. and don't even get me started on the beginning of the book. WHAT WAS THAT SHIT? why was wes acting like a 7yr old excited for school and talking (so much) abt his love for scootering? SCOOTERING. LYNN PAINTER WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL? SCOOTERING. DO YOU HAVE SOME OBSESSION WITH THEM OR SOMETHING? WHY DID THOSE DUMB THINGS KEEP SHOWING UP?? like tell me why i needed to read this shit: "i fucking loved the scooters ..... wes + scooters = HEA" ..... lynn.

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

im not going to bother to find any of these, see: im too lazy

all in all i still liked some points when both of them were acting normal. which is why its a 3. but i feel like this is leaning towards a hate review but yeah idk i cant actually pin point parts that i remember liking- also the ending??? what was that? it made no sense to me.

[16lies]

for a brief moment, seulki wonders what would happen if she shoved seryung down the stairs. watch as her body crumbles to the ground, all irritatingly flawless chestnut waves splayed on the marbled floor. god, even then seulki is certain that seryung would have fucking otherworldly ability to still look infuriatingly beautiful injured. like some kind of twisted america’s next top model challenge.

but then again, if she did push seryung, for once in her fucking life, seulki could (quite literally) have leg-up on her and maybe this time, she could weave a truthful account of how only one person had gotten hurt. and unlike the past few years - at least this time, it wouldn’t have been her. 

but she doesn’t. of course, she doesn’t. seulki fights wars with glacial smiles and even colder acts of senseless stabs in the back. and well, seulki isn’t eight anymore. (back then, during their rose-coloured days, they would laugh about it because seulki did push seryung down the stairs in a fit of rage when seryung wore that lime green dress better than she did. yet, even at eight years old, seryung had a disproportionate amount of grace and poise. she didn’t cry. just stood up, giggled, wrapped her arms around seulki. seulki has hated her ever since.)

so, seulki smothers seryung’s excruciating enthusiasm with a vacant smile. lets seryung press her cherry-scented lips against apathetic cheeks. “that’s okay,” she replies, voice impassive (sounds more like a ‘fuck off’, really. not that it would rattle seryung.) glazed eyes wander across the room - seryung isn’t worth the price of her attention, she’d sold it off the moment she let seulki speak to an automated voice seven years ago. arms crossed, taut, against her chest as if a safeguard against seryung’s uncomfortable exuberance. “things have been crazy for a long time, haven’t they?” 

she’d sworn off trying to discern the workings of seryung’s minds a long time ago, but somehow, seryung always brings the worst in her. what the fuck did she think would happen? did she think that the basis of their friendship had been so intrinsically associated with fights that she could waltz back here after seven years of silence and perform the same routine? maybe, if it had been seven days and not seven years, seulki could’ve been more forgiving. but time has done nothing but let the wounds fester and resentment brew, and now, seryung’s laughter sounds like nails against a chalkboard and seulki almost winces - but years of secondhand embarrassment watching her mother grovel at the feet of the elite has taught her better. 

stares blankly at seryung instead. doesn’t even offer her the privilege of a scoff. “sorry,” she replies, not an ounce of remorse in her voice. “i’m really busy these days. maybe you can leave a voicemail?”

[ye0ncore]

white horse - park jongseong <3

second part in the series

note: hello loves! i hope you enjoy the second part to this lol series! i’m trying to be more active, so hopefully the series will be finished soon!

>> based off of: white horse by taylor swift

>> pairing: jay x female reader

>> rating and genre: g, pg if you don’t like angst, angst

>> warnings: mentions of cheating, some strong language

>> word count: 1.3k

“say you’re sorry, that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to.”

“jay it’s two in the morning. why are you home so late?” you knew you would regret staying up so late. but at this point, you didn’t care. you were tired of all the late nights, all the white lies. you knew where he was. you just wanted him to tell you.

“i’m sorry, i just got caught up with the boys.” there it was. that’s what he always told you. but, you knew for a fact he was with another girl. you caught him. one of your friends had seen him with her and sent you a picture.

“jay, you don’t have to lie to me. i know you were with a girl.” your voice was soft, making it hard to hear. but he heard you nonetheless, and froze. he knew he was screwed. he put on a concerned face, and walked up to you. he cupped your cheek, and even though you knew it was wrong, you leaned into his touch.

“baby, i am so sorry. that girl means nothing to me, you should know that. she’s just a friend. i love you, not her, okay?” you simply nodded, and let him lead you to bed.

“as i pace back and forth, cause i honestly believed in you.”

a few weeks later, it happened again. deja vu hit you like a bus, considering last time wasn’t the first. you knew it was stupid, but you loved him and you simple couldn’t find the courage to leave. you wouldn’t know how to function without him. he had made you so dependent on him, and you so desperately wanted to get out but you didn’t know how.

“jay, how many times is this going to happen? you say you love me but, you’re with other girls all the time... you promised me it wouldn’t happen again.” your voice gradually got louder as you spoke, slightly taking him by surprise. you were never one to yell, but you couldn’t help it. deep down, he knew he deserved it.

“and it won’t. i promise i’m gonna be better for you.” you sighed and stood up, looking him in the eyes. he held his breath as he looked at the pained look on your face.

“that’s what you said last time. just... go. i need some time.” he released the breath he was holding and looked at you like you were crazy. “i’m serious, jay. just go.” he scoffed, grabbed his phone and keys, and stormed out the door.

you ended up sleeping on the couch that night. you didn’t know how to process everything that was happening. you thought you and jay were going to be endgame. in the beginning, everything was perfect. if you knew it would end like this, you wouldn’t have done it to yourself. he wasn’t who you thought he was.

he came home the next morning, hickeys littering his skin. you froze when you saw them, your whole body shutting down. “you went to her house last night didn’t you?” he sighed, and set his things down, beginning to walk up to you.

you stopped him, taking a few steps backwards. you had to end this. you couldn’t take the pain anymore. “baby?”

“don’t baby me. i’m done with this, jay.” his eyes widened at your words, taking another step towards you.

“done? done with what? me?” his voice conveyed hurt, but you knew it was all a facade. you nodded, making his lip begin to quiver.

“i’m done with us. i cant take this anymore, jay. you clearly don’t care about me or my feelings.” you paused before speaking up again. “leave. we’re over.”

he tried to talk you out of it, but you managed to get him out of the house. you plopped on the couch, and placed your head in your hands, taking a shaky, deep breath. you knew the road ahead was going to be rough. but you were determined to get over the boy.

“stupid girl, i should’ve known, i should’ve known”

“that i’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale.”

“i’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell.”

the weeks after the break up we’re harder than you thought they’d be. you missed him immensely and it took everything in you to stay away from him. you missed what you used to be.

him and the girl he had been cheating on you with were all over social media. everywhere you looked, it was something about them, and it hurt to see. you knew that that used to be you, which hurt the most. you wondered if he really ever loved you. he never looked at you the way he looked at her.

“i was a dreamer before you went and let me down.”

news got around that you were newly single, which meant old flings were blowing up your phone. you thought about going with it, but the second you did, jay’s face popped up in your mind. it felt wrong, so you let them all down.

after everything that happened, the world seemed so grey. you used to love taking walks. now, they just seemed pointless. everything around you reminded you of the boy. you couldn’t escape him.

you wondered how he was doing. the last thing you would have expected was for him to be missing you just as much.

“and there you are on your knees.”

it was late on a saturday night when you saw jay next. you heard a knock, and you opened the door, thinking it was the food you had ordered. you were shocked to see jay standing there, shivering from the cold. you almost felt bad. but, you decided to be nice and let him in. he sent a small smile your way as a thank you.

you shut the door behind him, crossed your arms and turned to him. “what are you doing here?”

he sighed and took a good look at you. it was then that he realized how bad he had hurt you. your hair was a mess, you had bags under your eyes, and your clothes were wrinkled.

“begging for forgiveness, begging for me.”

“just like i always wanted, but i’m so sorry.”

“jay, seriously, what are you doing here?” he almost flinched at the sound of your voice. it was hoarse, and full of hurt. he hadn’t been able to stop thinking of your voice, and how soft and sweet it was. he hated the fact that he had done this to you.

“i wanted to apologize. i miss you like crazy, y/n. i never meant to hurt you the way i did.” you looked up at him, looking for any sign of him lying. he seemed genuine, but you couldn’t trust him. not after everything that he did.

“jay... thank you for the apology, but, i’m not ready to forgive you yet. i’m not healed from all of the damage you caused. i just can’t right now...” he took a few steps toward you, making you step back until your back was pressed against the door.

“jay i cant forgive you. please just leave.”

“i’m gonna find someone someday, who might actually treat me well.”

he takes a deep breath and takes one more step. “i’m not coming back to you. you were so mean, and so careless with me. i won’t go through that again. you couldn’t treat me well, and i know if i come back, it’ll just end in heartbreak again. the answer is no, jay.”

“you’re right. and i owe you. you were so good to me and i didn’t know what i had until i lost you. just know that i am so sorry.”

“now it’s too late for you and your white horse to catch me now.”

“i know.” he walked past you and out the door, getting into his car and driving away. seeing him leave sent a wave of relief through you, and at that moment, you knew everything was going to be okay.

he didn’t have you at his beck and call anymore, and you couldn’t even begin to describe how free your felt. you were finally okay.

it’s too late, to catch me now...

[blogsandphotos]

My Comcast Nightmare!

WARNING: Get some coffee cause this is long and not all language is PG rated!

So I had FIOS and I was at the end of my contract so I thought...lets give Comcast a try. HUGE mistake! They would not allow me to do the self install. Not sure why...I have installed everything before! So I tell them, OK fine, but I want an actual Comcast contractor to install it. OK she says, let me note your account. So Aug 2nd comes, and low and behold a third party contractor shows up. Wonderful....sigh. Thus begins my nightmare. He shows up 15 min late. ChaChing, I get $20 bucks off my first bill. Then he comes in my home and looks to see where the box is going to be installed. Installed? Just connect it to where the FIOS box was! This is not rocket science! So then he goes out to his truck and moves it down to the pole. Spends 15 min attempting to put his ladder up onto the pole.It was actually painful to watch! Then he comes back and wants to know if there is a power box in my daughters bedroom. No, why the hell would the supply box be in my daughters bedroom? So then he walks around the house a few times, looking like hes lost.He fiddles with something on the side of the house for a few min and then he comes in and goes down the basement. I hear him down there playing with cable lines and think, OK, this shouldn't take much longer. All he had to do was replace the router, which I could have done, and replace 1, ONE, cable box and that was going in the living room. Disconnect the FIOS and connect the Comcast.. Easy peasy! So he finally comes up, brings the router in and connects it. Asking me what plugs from the old router I want plugged into the new one. Ummmm ALL of them! DUH! So said, the phone, and at least the computer its next to. I figure just get him the hell out and I can do the rest. Then he goes into the living room. And he cant get a signal on the cable line. You know...the one that was working before he got here? Up and down the basement steps. Hes perplexed. I said, just connect it to that line! It was working! Its the only one in the living room! No, he said, I cant. I have to get a signal. Fuck your signal...PLUG IT IN! So he calls tech support. yea...you read that right. I can hear the guy on the other end basically getting annoyed with him. OK, he gets off the phone and goes out to his van and brings in a huge fucking drill which he proceeds to drill a hole in my living room floor. Ummm, this floor was brand new 2 years ago I might add. I said, what the hell is that smell? And I can see smoke. He says, you have really thick floors. I said no, my house is 135 years old and you have drilled into a beam in the basement that at this point is probably petrified wood! Oh.... Well I need to let this charge. I'm pissed but I'm gonna keep my cool and take it up with Comcast when he leaves. About 20 min goes by and I hear him drilling again. I know I had to have looked at Taylor like I wanted to kill the man. He finishes what hes doing and he calls back to tech support. Now, tell me again why I couldn't have done the self install myself? This time he gets a woman and shes asking him for the number on the bottom of the cable box. Hes giving her the number off the router. I was going to tell him but I thought...nope...hes the expert remember! (rolling eyes). She gets irate and says NO, the cable box! oh oh..sorry. So he reads that number then she asks for the router number. She says, you have the wrong box for that order. So he goes out and brings in a different one. Still perplexed cause where the fuck do you hook it up? Gee I dont know Einstein, where the other one was?? Then he calls back a third time. And they tell him to use such and such a box. Now, mind you, my house is over 135 years old. 6 rooms, all approx 14x16 with 10 foot ceilings and god only knows how many layers upon layers of lead paint was used back when it was legal. My WiFi sucks. So Mr Handy man brings in a WiFi cable box. The size of my fricken hand! He finally gets done and says sorry it took so long, not sure what that cable is for cause there is no signal going to it. Well I dont know either...since FIOS worked great through it! Nine...9 freaking hours this man was at my house to replace one router and one cable box. He leaves...walks down to his truck. I see him walking back up. Now what? Hes done...he isn't coming back in! He got here at 10:20AM and left at 6:57PM! My husband comes in....Mr. Expert left the blinkers on his truck on all day down by the pole and killed the battery in his van and John had to give him a jump! Now here is the icing on the cake.... He drilled not one..but 2 holes in my brand new floor. When he hit a beam he decided to move to a new spot. Two inches above the other! SAME BEAM! So I have two holes in the floor that go nowhere. Then when he laid the HOT drill down, he laid it on the floor and left burn marks! I go down the basement and every single cable line has been disconnected! 14 days into my Comcast contract, I go back online and order new service with FIOS because when we are trying to watch TV, channels freeze up, shows start to buffer, etc. I tell them I need someone to come to my home to install because the Comcast tech cut all my lines. No problem. SO a few days before they are set to come and I call and ask what time he will be here. Who? There is no tech. Its set as a self install because I had FIOS before. So i tell them No, i told you what i needed. OK. Well we cant do it the 20th, it will have to be the 21st then. OK...what ever. So the next day, nervous I call and ask what time, just to make sure someone is coming. They tell me, no your a self install. NO!! I'M NOT! Sigh... the equipment comes on Saturday and i hope on some magic cable dream that If i hook everything up..it will work. Nope! So I call tech support and I tell them, look it doesn't work. OK, we will send someone tomorrow! Great! The man shows up on Sunday. I can hear him in the basement, outside, at this van, walking around the house....sighing... Loudly! It was his day off and he got called in. What ever cupcake! Suck it up! Not like your not getting paid out the ass for the day! So he gets the router working but he cant find the phone line. The phone line is RIGHT THE FUCK THERE! You just unplugged it from the other router. So I find it and I show him. He goes out to his van to get something...he locked his keys in it. So he has to call a friend, another tech, to come help him break into his van. This man shows up, gets not only into his van, but connects the phone line! So now they are both perplexed at the living room cable situation still. Are you sure this line worked? I said it did till Mr Fix-it from Comcast broke it! This guy was here for 4 hours. Says, Ill be back tomorrow when they can get someone to turn on my TV service cause its not in the order. The fuck you mean its not in the order? Its on my order that I just showed you! yea, they didn't add it. Meanwhile on my phone, the app is telling me to setup the set top boxes for TV. So he says, sorry, Ill be back tomorrow. You have Roku so you can still watch TV. Thanks Mr. Obvious! He says, Don't even plug the boxes in cause it will mess everything up. OK. And he leaves. So I go around and I hook up all the boxes, other then the living room cause we all know that cable has been cut somewhere. Low and behold...dumb ass incapable Lou Ann gets 5 of the 6 cable boxes setup, activated and we have TV!! The next day he calls...someone ELSE will be at my house. Clearly this man said fuck it, i have no idea and dont feel like dealing with it. So another man comes. I tell him where the line came in from and where it goes down the basement. He comes up, takes a look, goes back down. I hear him doing something. He comes back up and voila, the TV in the living room works. I said, what did you do? He said they didn't have the cable connected to the splitter! Really? It took 4 guys and only 1 knew what the hell he was doing? So now I am back to FIOS and happy and wont be going anywhere. I do have a fight going on with Comcast regarding my floor. Someone IS going to pay to have it replaced! All of this could have been avoided had they let ME install my own services!

©LouAnnGoodrum

[honeyitsasideshow]

reputation theory

honestly I think the album being called reputation is more significant than we think, these songs aren’t straightforward stories from Taylor’s perspective, they blur the lines between fact and fiction - or between the real Taylor and her false reputation. its just a theory but i think shes doing something similar to  ‘blank space’ with this whole album ie writing about real life experiences from her reputation’s perspective. 

take ‘ready for it?’ for example, she’s talking about her real life relationship but describes herself as the media would describe her (’i was a robber first time that he saw me / stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry’) and in ‘gorgeous’ she talks about meeting Joe and falling for him but paints herself as a cheater because that is what the media made her out to be (’i have a boyfriend, he’s older than us / he’s in the club doing i don’t know what’) even the most iconic line in ‘LWYMMD’ uses this rhetoric (’the old taylor cant come to the phone right now. why? oh cause shes dead’) its clear to us that tay is the same girl as before but shes mocking how the media and the haters said that she was ‘over’ and ‘dead’ by pretending that she is

taylor is once again taking what the media have said about her and using it to write incredible music, she’s mocking them and creating songs for her fans to enjoy - it just goes to show that if you hate on @taylorswift she’ll use it as inspiration and come back better than ever 

[taylor-likes-to-kill-us]

WHEN SHE SAID IM SORRY THE OLD TAYLOR CANT COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW WHY CAUSE SHES DEAD I SCREAMED HOLY SHIT IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE THE RECORDING

[daenerys-targaryen]

lets take a look at these lyrics my dudes and dudettes, 

I don't like your little games Don't like your tilted stage The role you made me play Of the fool, no, I don't like you I don't like your perfect crime How you laugh when you lie You said the gun was mine Isn't cool, no, I don't like you

In my opinion, this opening chorus is 100% about how the media played her out to be someone shes not, she once again, got played by the media and media outlets. “I don’t like your little games,” so she is already setting the tone of this song by completely calling the media out on their bullshit. “the role you made me play, the fool,” saying that the media forced her into this role as a slut or a snake, and as anyone would, is calling them out on their bullshit. The “how you laugh when you lie,” verse is most likely about people smile in her face but then turn around just to stab her in the back. “you said the gun was mine” in my opionion the gun is her reputation, she always felt like she had the upmost control of her image and now the gun has been turned back on her.

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh! 

do i even need to elaborate on this? “honey i rose up from the dead i do it all the time” damn straight you did. your’e doing amazing sweetie, SLAY me. damn swift. anyways. yeah, she “rose up from the dead” in 2014 when 1989 was released and everyone was up her ass again, and now shes risen from the dead once agian to murder everyone. “ive got a list of names and yours is in red underlined” I hope shes talking about me.. no just kidding but seriously damn swift.

Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do (2x)

she had to metaphorically “kill” the old, passive, politely takes no shit taylor, and she has now returned and shes stronger and wiser and watch your wig hun cause shes coming for ya.

I don't like your kingdom keys They once belonged to me You ask me for a place to sleep Locked me out and threw a feast (what?) The world goes on, another day, another drama, drama But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours

In my opinion the “kingdom keys” are just like the gun, symbolism for her reputation. the “keys” (her rep) once belonged to her, the “you ask me for a place to sleep, locked me out and threw a feast, what?” is telling a story that someone asked for her help, they then took what was hers and threw a party in the aftermath. and im not even gonna comment on the karma cause we all know its true.

I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actress, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actress, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actress, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actress, starring in your bad dreams (Look what you made me do) (Look what you made me do) "I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now." "Why?" "Oh 'cause she's dead!"

this actually made me lowkey sad, that her view of people has changed so drastically that she says she doesnt trust anyone, that shes been turned on so many times that she doesnt know who to trust. i think the “nobody trusts me,” part is not about the way the media portrays her, but how the audience views her, after 2394x articles come out about how taylor is a snake or how shes a slut or this or that, people see those articles and have that impression of her in their minds rather they mean to or not, so shes saying she cant trust them and they cant trust her, which is heartbreaking. and im 100% behind that the “taylor cant come to the phone right now” is a ref to knaye lmao my mother is so petty i love it. and the “oh, cause shes dead!” is taylor saying that the nice, passive, polite taylor is gone, that this new taylor isnt going to give any fucks. shes fully embracing the snake persona and I love it.

[irredeemabletrcsh-blog]

Things had settled to whatever the Mystic Falls crews' definition of normal was since the apparent demise of Kai Parker at the literal hand of Damon Salvatore. Elena Gilbert was lost to them until the day that Bonnie Bennett met her end, but things had been otherwise okay for the happy supernatural funky bunch, which Kai knew because he had taken to watching them now and again for his own reasons since staging his death. Damon wasn't hating Bonnie the way the sadistic heretic had hoped, but the elder Salvatore was suffering without his beloved sloppy second OTP, so that was definitely something. Josette's babies were evidently more powerful than Uncle Kai could have foreseen and had survived his savage attempt on their unborn lives. It had been a few years since the great cataclysm he had brought upon that wedding, and since then his precious nieces had been raised by daddy Alaric and... the blonde chick whose neck Kai magic-snapped that one time, affectionately known as "Care Bear" by the Bonster?

Whatever. From his careful reconnaissance (stalking), he had deduced that it worked out better this way. Caroline would be more malleable than Ric when it came to giving the sociopath what he wanted, and after giving the little munchkins some time to grow (newborn babies were boring -- they don't even do anything -- stab stab stab), it was finally time for him to enter their lives.

His presence would have been felt before Caroline ever saw him, on the short walk from the coffee shop to her car.

"Oh, you poor thing," a sweet old lady carrying two bags of fruit from the farmers market said to her, wearing a bubbly smile and a supremely faraway spaced out look. "You knew you were on borrowed time with those children, didn't you, dearie?"

As Care got closer to the car, a little boy ran right up to her and began jumping up and down manically, looking and sounding like he was way too hopped up on Red Bull. "He's back! He's back! He's back! He's back! He's back! He's back! He's back! Tehehehehehehe!" ... before turning and running off the other way.

The final omen was perhaps the most harrowing: three little girls in white dresses playing jumprope, lost in their world and rhythmically chanting... "One, two, Kai's coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, don't tell Alaric. Seven, eight, remember Elena's fate. Nine, ten, never wake up again..."

Their girlish giggles followed her all the way to the car, and while the vehicle appeared empty from the outside, all four doors locked themselves shut (and were not going to unlock any time soon) just as she slid the key into the ignition... and from the backseat came a distinctly, hauntingly sarcastic voice.

"Was the Nightmare on Elm Street throwback a bit much?" Kai asked, seated directly behind her in a black overcoat, chewing on some gummy bears in his right hand and staring thoughtfully into the rearview mirror. "That's always my problem, though; always way too dramatic. Oh, my gosh, remember the wedding? I actually wore a suit for that! Can we appreciate how ridiculous that was? That I wore a suit for Jo’s wedding?"

Kai giggled to himself while shaking his head fondly at the memory. He canted his head towards the radio and mimicked the motion of turning the knob on the volume, upon which the knob actually turned and the volume was cranked up.

"I tried not to, but I'm really all about that new Taylor Swift song. Oh, oh, here comes my favorite part! 'I'm sorry, the Gemini coven can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh! 'Cause they're dead!'"

He broke out into a mini laughing fit then, thoroughly amused by himself before waving it aside with a heavy sigh.

".. That's... probably way funnier for me than you. So how've ya been? You want a gummy bear?"

@seesgood

[thevirginmary97-blog]

what if in look what you made me do taylor swift said, “sorry, the old taylor can’t come to the phone right now.. why? oh! causes shes giving HEAD! idk i feel like she could connect with more people with that. we’ve all been there. phone blowin up but we cant answer cause we got 7 inches of dong in our mouth. just a theory. 

[maroonskies]

SHE REALLY SAID "IM SORRY BUT THE OLD TAYLOR CANT COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW WHY? OH CAUSE SHES DEAD" LIEK .......

[swiftieinscreamingcolor]

LOOK WHAT YOU JUST MADE ME DOOO

SO IM LISTENING TO IT FOR THE 5th TIME IN A ROW OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT HOLY COW TAY WHEN SHE SAID "SORRY THE OLD TAYLOR CANT COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW, why?, oh.., CAUSE SHE'S DEAD" MY JAW DROPPED LIKE YES TAY!!! GET IT!!!